The Wandering Poet

Buffy Brinkley on the Things that Inspire my Life, my Pen, and my Heart.


Do you realize how much effort it takes to be cruel to someone else? There’s plotting, planning, figuring out what bothers them and using it against them, keeping track of all the little dings and heckles and outright nastiness.  Wow, that must be EXHAUSTING!  So, I’ve always wondered:  why do some people bother? It goes against our very natures as human beings.  It’s something that requires constant work! So, why?  Why put such a hardship on yourself? It doesn’t make your problems go away. It doesn’t make your self-loathing go away.  Did you honestly believe that making someone else feel as awful as you would make you feel better? It doesn’t. You just didn’t want to be alone in it, did you? But, what if you let go of all that effort and gave kindness a try? Think about it:

Do you realize how little effort it takes to be kind to someone else? There’s nothing to figure out, keep track of, plot, or plan.  Sometimes kindness is simply a smile passed between strangers.  Sometimes it’s as simple as reaching something on a high shelf for someone in a supermarket, or opening a door for someone whose arms are full of packages, or complimenting someone on their outfit. It’s as simple as allowing everyone a voice without invoking your judgment. Kindness rarely costs anything at all, but when it does, I’ve found it’s totally worth it! And, here’s the amazing thing:  when you’re kind, not only do you make those people feel good about themselves, but you also begin to feel good about yourself. There is nothing that will make you feel as good about yourself as fast as thinking on, acting on, or wishing on the happiness of others. When we give of ourselves, we ensure we’re not alone, and the problems that we’re facing will begin to put themselves into a workable perspective.

When we connect positively with other people, we think positively, we feel positively, and we face obstacles positively. The person you were cruel to yesterday will allow you to stand on their shoulders today to overcome an obstacle YOU are facing if you’re nice about it. Don’t spend one more second on misery and cruelty!  Not. One. More. Nothing about being cruel, being nasty, or being a bully is worth the perpetual isolation in which you will find yourself. Think about Scrooge! He was cruel to everyone around him until everyone left him alone with his misery. The ghosts which visited him showed kindness in allowing him to see how cruelty alienated him; how cruelty left him to die alone. As Scrooge went on his journey with the ghosts, he began to realize how his attitude and selfishness had made him a person of deep misery.  He was missing out on the important things in life! Family. Friends. Love. And when faced with the inevitability of his death, he wept because it would be too late then to make it right. Upon the realization that he was still alive, he rejoiced because he had a second chance to connect with the world, to make friends, to be kind, to begin a new path.

It wasn’t too late for Scrooge and it’s not too late for you, either. If you are angry, lost, feeling hopeless, and find yourself being cruel, unkind, or lashing out at others in bullying fashion, please reach out to someone you can talk to: a guidance counselor, a friend, a parent. Reach out to Cybersmile. On Twitter, they are @CybersmileHQ, by email they are  If you’re acting out and need help letting it go, they will give you some excellent material to read through so you can start your new path. Check out the campaign #ImACybersmiler! Take a look a what positive people are saying and doing.  Emulate them. Be the change you need for yourself. Heck, reach out to me! On Twitter I am @brinkleybuffy.  Come and read my thought of the day. Tell me you need a friend. I’ll be yours. I’ll listen. Let’s take the path of least resistance this holiday season and moving forward.  Kindness.  It’s so easy. Let’s pass it on!

Leave a comment »

The Strange Case of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde: A Review

As those who came upon Mr. Hyde were quite incapable of describing him, I, too, hardly have words to describe how wonderfully Richard Armitage has brought this tale to life!

“The Strange Case of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde” has long been a favorite of mine. Read first when I was barely a teenager, I was both intrigued and frightened by the idea of the good and evil within us all being divided between two selves: one possessed of good qualities, and one inherently evil. The thought of two halves of the same person, each taking their turn at the helm of one being that bent to their figure and form was fantastical, but also quite terrifying. The good side, tall, erect, and seemly (the good face of the good doctor), and the evil side, squat, soul-deformed, and bent over with the weight of sin (the evil face of the dark and formless night of which it was born). And, what if then one became stronger than the other?

The thought and questions do not end there because the tale is haunting. It is thought-provoking.  The “what-if” proposed pulls us in to our own natures where good and evil war within us all the time.  Each of us has had a malicious thought. Our evil side draws it out of us as if from the depths of a pit, and thrusts it into the light of our consciousness. Our good sides vanquish it…eventually. Only a minuscule few would ever act upon such thoughts. Then, the “what-if”: What if one could do such deeds as the day would quake to look upon (paraphrase from Hamlet) and then retreat blameless and undetectable under the cover of a good and trusted face? And what if that side were then able to slip the confines of that which controlled it, as it wished? Which side would our natures choose should the same happen to us? I’d like to think the good side would win…but who really knows what lurks in the darkness of even the best of us?

As always, Richard Armitage delivers a powerhouse performance! His seamless transition in speech between Jeckyll and Hyde is unnerving and effectively chilling. I loved every word of it! Bravo! I really cannot wait to listen again!

Leave a comment »

Feeling Very Inspired!

Image result for feeling inspired

It’s my birthday. It’s an ordinary day.

My family asked what I wanted to do for my birthday.  I’m way too old for parties. I’m way too young to do nothing. So, I took to Pinterest, Twitter, and Facebook for inspiration.  What did I want to do? On Twitter, I came across a series of tweets I sent out on August 22 of this year.  It was Richard Armitage’s birthday and, on behalf of my twitter group, I donated to his charities as a birthday gift to him. Mr. A is always bringing attention to organizations and people who need help (and he’s always stated that he’d much rather a few coins go into the till to help those in need rather than receive gifts himself). And, I thought: that’s what I will do.  I will celebrate my birthday by giving to his and other charities I support. Thanks for the inspiration, Richard! As always!

I wrote the charities I support down on individual strips of paper, folded them and dropped them into a hat.  I drew three: Cybersmile Foundation, Young Minds, and St. Jude. I gave in an amount related to my age, but the amount wasn’t the point. The point was to give, and on a day that anyone would expect me to expect to receive. It feels good and if I could do this everyday, I would.

I am not asking that anyone click on the links I’ve advertised on my Twitter and Facebook accounts and give. That’s not my place.  But, I encourage you to check out these organizations and see for yourself the wonderful work they do. Maybe, on your birthday, you’ll want to celebrate the same way.

My thought for the day: There is nothing that will make you feel as good, as fast, as helping someone else.

This is true. My modest contributions to these three organizations today will not likely change the world.  Or, maybe it will. Maybe, for one day, I can be as inspirational to all of you as Richard Armitage and these organizations are to me. In that thought, I feel blessed to have been born on this day.

With love, Buffy


Digital Theatre: The Solution In Laymen’s Terms

Hello Friends:

Since Digital Theatre changed their website to a subscription streaming service, those of us who purchased plays under the old website have been worried that our purchases would fall into oblivion and would only be available if we subscribed.

There’s also been a lot of confusion about how Digital Theatre planned to make things right with those of us who purchased plays. They’ve released several notifications regarding their plans, but there was still some confusion regarding how this would happen.

I’m here to spell it out for you (and hopefully Digital Theatre won’t mind).

I was one of the many who purchased “The Crucible” and other plays. Those of us who are Richard Armitage fans have been lamenting for a while now about whether or not we would have access to this magnificent play again without having to shell out additional monies. The answer is Yes. We will have access without having to subscribe.

I’ve been in contact with one of Digital Theatre’s customer service representatives.  She has been more than helpful in getting my account straightened out.  I had a few issues:

(1) I couldn’t subscribe. My account wouldn’t let me.

(2) When I was able to log in, I then only had access to the “trailers” for the plays and not the plays themselves.

(3) When I subscribed under a different email, the plays would not play across all my devices.

So what did Digital Theatre do?

(1) First, I contacted Digital Theatre through their Contact Us forum.

(2) Rebekah was more than helpful and explained that when I tried to log in to subscribe from my original account, the system tried to create a new account and this tied up my username.  She fixed that by resetting my password and clearing out the duplication. (NOTE: I created a second account under a different email address and subscribed to their streaming service.  I’ve left that account as is, as I thought I would have them correct the issues regarding my purchases on my original account and use the streaming account if I should wish to see all of the DT works.  The good news is that if I should ever decide to cancel my subscription, the purchases on my original account will be available).

(3) I was not clicking on the right link to allow the plays to play across my devices.  I’ve since discovered my error and now, under the streaming account, I can play all plays and content offered through DT across any of my devices.

(4) Rebekah explained that Digital Theatre is systematically restoring ALL purchases to customer accounts who purchased plays prior to the website change. This is happening albeit slowly, but surely.  When she asked if I was happy to wait, I simply asked that she go ahead and restore my purchases since she was already working on my account. Within 24-36 hours, the plays were restored.  I now have full access to the plays I purchased prior to the website change. If your customer service representative asks the same question, you may just want to ask them to proceed rather than make you wait. But, know that your purchases will be restored as quickly as possible.

(5) Once restored, I noticed that the “Rental” expiration date was set about a decade into the future.  I asked if that date would automatically reset itself to another future date or if I would need to contact DT again.  I have been assured that the date will reset itself automatically.  So, I will have access to my purchases for the life of my account.

A lot of us freaked out when the change occurred, thinking that we had somehow been cheated out of what we’d paid for.  This is not the case.  Digital Theatre is working diligently to restore all purchases.  Just keep a close watch on the correspondence they send you if you’re working with a customer service representative.  They will give you options.  At least Rebekah did.  And, I thank her wholeheartedly.

So, take heart, friends! All will be restored as quickly as possible.  The difference, it seems is that the plays will have to be viewed through the website rather than through an app.

–Buffy 🙂


We’ve Lost Something! Let’s Get It Back!

Imagine a house or an apartment building. Imagine it a place of love. People come and go as they please. It’s a place of safety. A place of serenity. It’s a place that has seen love and joy, pain and sorrow.  Much like any normal place on Earth. It’s home.

Now, imagine that water begins to rise around it. The inhabitants have no way of knowing if the water will recede or if it will continue to rise.  The inhabitants must make the decision to stay or go.  But, go where?  What if the alternative destination is no safer? What if that alternative destination will not welcome their children or their pets?

The water continues to rise. The inhabitants try to raise their furniture. They try to save as much of the lives they’ve built as they can. They know that when water reaches the electrical sockets, it could cause electrical current to enter the water; it will definitely cause power outage.  Do they dare sleep?  What if the water rises in the night? Dare they risk drowning? Do they rotate standing watch?  In the dark, water rises like an oil slick and all darkness looks the same.  There is no escape. Maybe they’ve waited too late.

The water rises. It’s chest-high now. Everything that was on the ground floor is ruined. Some of it has been carried away by the water. Some of it floats nearby, in the room too small for it to come out of, but that which held it in the perfect spot just yesterday. Water encroaches upon the stairs like an unwelcome guest; a serial killer with an inescapable weapon. There’s no place to hide. Hold on until dawn.  Try to pray the water remains at its current level or recedes. Please, God.  Please don’t let it get any higher.

Rescue units arrive and the hard decisions have to be made.  What do the inhabitants take with them? Their pictures? The ornaments they made for their parents? Or ornaments their children made for them? Electronics? No cellphone service, but it might come back up soon. Not leaving without their dog, are they? Can’t. Can they? What about their sick mother who is bedridden? Can they save her? They don’t leave her, do they? The stress of the certainty of losing everything they’ve built is overwhelming. They gather their lives. They take with them the clothes on their backs. Their medicines if they can. Their pets. The rest is lost.  The boat cannot hold a lifetime of things, even if those things can never be replaced.

The neighbor these inhabitants said good morning to every day. The neighbor was not so lucky. The neighbor got caught in the water. Down into the depths the neighbor was swept, never to return. No more good mornings. No more hellos. And now a future without the neighbor. It hasn’t quite sunken in yet.

And now, they’re off to a safe place.  But how safe? For how long? Uncertainty is all the future holds.

Now, imagine it’s YOUR home.  YOUR mom.  YOUR children.  YOUR dog. YOUR neighbor. If you can imagine this, even just a little bit, then you have a small idea of what it was like in Louisiana last August. And, you have just an inkling of what it is currently like in Texas.

Last year, historic flooding destroyed most of my community, took the lives of a few of our citizens, and left me and my friends and neighbors with the task of rebuilding our lives. Today, there are still people rebuilding.

Please text HARVEY to 90999 to donate $10 to the American Red Cross. Volunteer if you can.  Please pray for the people of Texas.  Please be respectful of the pain and sorrow and uncertainty these people are going through right now. Let’s get back our humanity, our compassion, and our drive to help one another.  I’m thinking right now of a quote from the movie “Starman.” When the alien tells the FBI investigator that he will tell him what he likes most about human beings.  He says, “You are at your best when things are at their worst.” Let’s prove him right.


Leave a comment »

The Attention Vampire

You believe what you believe. No one can convince you otherwise.  What you believe is ingrained within you.  It’s hard to move your mind around it. It becomes an immutable part of your heart and spirit. Belief seats itself firmly within two factors of our souls: our faith and our trust. Faith generally is belief in the intangible. You can’t see it, touch it, taste it, hear it, or feel it, but you believe it to be true nevertheless. Trust generally is belief in the tangible. You can see it, touch it, taste it, hear it, and feel it, and your interpretation of it is your truth of it.

When we take people into what I like to call our inner circles, we take them into our most special caring.  That caring can be the love of a relative or spouse or child or friend that has your faith and your trust without question. You believe what they tell you at face-value without second thought. You see them as their true selves because you believe they show you who they are. So, what do you do when all that you believe is called into question?  And, not only called into question, but proven to be untrue?

People lie. People exaggerate.  People embellish. We all do it. Memory serves its own master, and sometimes our recollection of an event is embellished or exaggerated to the point of little lies that make our story more colorful and fun. It’s not the whole truth, but there doesn’t seem to be any real harm in it. Most people are generally keen on where exaggerations are within a story and either correct the storyteller or let it go by the wayside, depending on the situation and whether or not anyone could come to harm based on the embellishment.

So, if I spare the feelings of my friend and downplay how much I don’t like her hair, or my friend’s husband spins a yarn about the size of the fish he caught that day, these get tallied in the little white lies that spare feelings and big whoppers about the size of the fisherman’s catch. Sometimes it’s best to let someone down easy, especially if the whole truth could cause unnecessary hurt feelings. And, everyone will recognize the exaggeration when my friend’s husband holds his arms out at his full wingspan to show the size of the fish he caught. Again, no real harm. I’m not trying to split hairs here; only to demonstrate that there is a big difference between understatements and embellishments and calculated deceitful trickery.

So we come to the point. What about lies told wholly for the point of deceiving someone else and drawing them in to a world that simply doesn’t exist? Lies so big, so calculated, and deceitful as to change the course of relationships between people. Lies that are told to play on emotions that feed directly into our belief system and shape our faith and our trust. I was unfortunate to witness this recently. And I had my faith and trust tested to their limits.

There is no faster route to our belief systems than through our emotions. Especially if the emotions being played with are regarding mournful or hurtful experiences. Imagine a person taking those experiences and using them against you in the most calculated fashion imaginable, and for no other goal than to get you to put them at the center of your attention and allow them in that inner circle. Experiences you had–ones you’ve cried over and prayed over–used to get you to open your heart and, perhaps, in time, your wallet (although, honestly, your money is never the true goal; your attention is).

This deceitful person becomes an attention junkie; an emotional vampire, drawing attention from the lives of the people they contact until they’re satisfied.  Then, they hibernate until they need sustenance again. By the time they re-emerge, the emotional levels of the people who care about them are so high, the vampire feeds leisurely on their attention, then wanders off again; each time leaving the caring people a bit of grim or happy news to stoke the fires for fueling their emotional levels anew.

So why is this harmful and not the embellishment? Well, for one, I don’t believe anyone will be too upset to find out that my friend’s husband’s fish is nowhere near as big as he said.  You’d almost expect it, wouldn’t you? But, to find out that a pain I went through; real pain someone I truly loved went through,  was taken and used to play with my emotions for the sole purpose of making a deceitful liar feel important is unforgivable! To know that details I spoke about in confidence were stolen and publicized for the sole purpose of making a deceitful liar feel more popular is unforgivable!  To know that the pain and suffering dealt to my family were used for the sole purpose of making a deceitful liar feel needed is unforgivable!

The levels of stress felt and experienced regarding this vampire has been a roller coaster ride. Ups. Downs. Round and rounds. Worry. Emotional torment. None of it is good for the physical self, much less the mental self. And, without word–sometimes for months at a time–the worst was always feared and prayed against. Tears were cried out of worry and emotional agony. And all because my own emotional responses and ties to certain events were used against me and I was duped into allowing this person into my realm of special caring. It was a shock at first, then hurtful, then outright enraging to find out that every bit of information coming from this particular vampire was a lie. You see, it remains on feeding grounds still firmly set in the realms of faith and trust. Well, I’m here to drive a stake through its heart.

They’re out there, dear readers! Emotional Vampires that feed on our experiences, on our emotions, on our love and caring for the sole purpose of placing themselves in the spotlight at our center stage. Take care to recognize them when you encounter them, and remember: The vampire’s experiences are lies. The vampire’s conflict, drama, ailment, etc., are all lies. The vampire isn’t being stalked. The vampire isn’t suffering any type of abuse. The vampire isn’t sick. The vampire just wanted your attention. And, there’s the truth.

I’ve always said this:  Do what you want to me, but if you hurt–or try to hurt–my family or my friends, I’ll hand you your ass! My Attention Vampire fed upon me for a long time, and I might have stayed quiet about it. But, when I realized it was hurting two other people I love, I knew it was time to drag its sorry ass out into the light where it will be crisped to ash and blown out of my life forever on the next stiff breeze. Ass. Handed. Good riddance!

1 Comment »

What’s Important…and What’s Not

In our little town of Central City, Louisiana, USA, the people have hung their Christmas Lights, they’ve begun to light their Menorahs, they’re preparing for Kwanzaa, and we’re all looking forward to a new year with the hope that it will bring better times. In our little town, you won’t hear reports of theft or senseless shootings, or vandalism. It’s not so much that we all know one another as much as we all have a mutual respect for one another.  It’s been a trying year.

Flooding devastated our little community in August of this year and more than half of our citizens lost much of what they’d worked so hard to have. Houses. Cars. Clothes. Beds. Toys. Jobs. The simplest things that we all take for granted every day, gone. Over the past several months, our citizens have been working diligently to put the pieces back together.

On Black Friday, there were no brawls or shoves or pushes or angry urgency from anyone who ventured into the local Wal-Mart. People respected each other’s space. If a person got to a sale item another person hoped to buy, there wasn’t an uproar or outburst of anger. There were smiles and congratulations and the thought that maybe that person needed that item just a little bit more.

Last night and tonight, there weren’t whines of how tired everyone was (and trust me, we were all exhausted), there were blessings of good tidings, and smiles shared among complete strangers. And, patience–even from the children who were among us. We know what we’ve been through. There’s a long road ahead for most. And, empathy has made us all a little nicer, a little more patient, and a lot more generous. Because you never know what a smile, a little empathy, and a few dollars here and there will do to help someone else out.

At the end of every year, I look back on the past 365 days and try to weigh in on what happened, what I did, what I didn’t do, what I should have done, and what I shouldn’t have. I categorize these into things that are important and things that are not. If something is deemed important, I will either hold on to it and treasure it, or I will learn from it and try to let it go. If it’s not important, I try to cast it aside like so many stones. Stones I’d picked up in anger or sadness or both. It’s good to be rid of them, though I confess the ones picked up in sadness are so much more difficult to put down. But, who really needs (or wants) the extra baggage? And, just in time for the New Year. A new beginning for new treasures and new lessons.

The important things are always things that cannot be bought or sold or bartered. Like family. Friends. Love. Kindness. If money could truly buy happiness, would we worry so much about the tangible, inanimate things around us? It might make us more comfortable, but, honestly, it’s just stuff. That’s the lesson this year. It’s just stuff. It can be replaced. But, I can’t. You can’t. No one can. And the littlest act of kindness goes a long way.

This morning, as I was getting my breakfast in the drive-through, the nice lady at the pay window informed me that the person ahead of me had paid for my meal. I was surprised. It made me smile. The person who had treated me to breakfast was just ahead of me at the second window, so I tapped lightly on my horn and waved at the car ahead to show my thanks. I then proceeded to pay for the person behind me. I have no idea if that person kept this going or not. Just like the kind person ahead of me, I had no idea what the person-behind-me’s circumstances were. For all I know, that person could have been a billionaire who burns money in his fireplace instead of wood. But, maybe he wasn’t a billionaire. Maybe that person was digging for change in his car seat cushions so that his family could have breakfast. I’ll never know and it won’t matter that I’ll never know. But, this small act of kindness might mean that his kids get a little something extra from Santa this year, or his electric bill gets paid in full instead of almost, or just that bit of gas money lets him visit his parents. The thought of these latter things I imagine are what prompted the person ahead of me to start this small act of kindness and what inspired me to continue it. And, if it ended with the person behind me, then the chain made at least two people smile at a time when so many are hurting. It was worth it.

It doesn’t take much. And most of the time, it doesn’t take money. Roll your elderly neighbor’s garbage can in from the curb so they don’t have to get out in the cold. Smile at those you meet and look them in the eye.  Your smile might be the only smile they’ve seen all day, all week, all month, or all year. Say what you mean to say, but be respectful. Respect is something you must give if you want to get it. Genuinely compliment someone. Reach out a helping hand to those in need when you can. You never know when you will be the person who needs the help. And never pass up an opportunity to tell those you love that you love them. Your mom. Your dad. Your brother. Your sister. Your friend. Your neighbor. Whoever it is, tell them. Because no one is promised even a second longer than now.

Good tidings to you all, my dear friends, and to all a good night.  The new year is just around the corner and may it bring better times. May my neighbors and friends and community heal from devastating losses and may we all be more kind to one another. Here, there, and around the world, may we all find the courage to love one another.

Sweet dreams. And, remember: I love you.


Leave a comment »

Ask Your Doctor About Richard Armitage!

Breaking News: As promised, pharmaceutical company Dream Dynamics has mass-produced the mood stabilizer/enhancer Richard Armitage just in time for the stressful holiday season!

With the tall, dark, and handsome wonder drug in short supply during this past year and with the utter failure and FDA ban of over-the-counter Rickitage, women around the world have been waiting with bated breath for Richard Armitage to become available again.

The announcement, made in a public service address about a month ago has sparked a rise in doctors’ appointments being made around the world.

This time, Dream Dynamics is ready for the demand. 


If your head is hurting, work is boring, and your boss you’d like to kill; don’t worry or fret, there’s a remedy yet! Just reach for this little pill!

If you’re feeling down, life is blue, and your friends just aren’t as fun; there is a way to brighten your day! Richard Armitage, he’s the one!

A pill a day will raise you up to mountain tops and peaks, but note the small print on the package sent; there’s side effects you should read.

It’ll make you smile, smile real big–even when you should frown; funeral parlor’s a “no” with RA to go, and addiction’s a merry-go-round. It’ll spark your libido, it’ll cause you to faint, it’ll regulate how you feel. So touch your fingers to your nose first, then say the alphabet in reverse before you get behind the wheel.

Ask your doctor if RA is right for you and follow directions to the letter; you’ll be happier and show it before you know it, and life will be so much better!

So this instant, don’t wait, don’t hesitate! Don’t dilly, dally, or delay! Call your doctor for the bill, get your prescription filled, and have a Happy Holiday! 

(Pic source: Ann Boudreau Art, Facebook)

1 Comment »

Ebby-Lou Makes Her Journey

My beautiful kitty, Ebony Louise, who I always affectionately called Ebby-Lou, went on her journey today. My mother gave her to me as a surprise.  At first, I wasn’t sure I wanted a kitten, but it only took Ebby a day to put herself firmly within my love and caring.

She was my baby. I may as well have given birth to her. And, for the last fourteen and a half years, she greeted me at the door with a soft meow of hello and a sweet nuzzle to welcome me home. She loved me unconditionally. That’s the very special thing about animals. They love without hesitation or agenda. And all they want is to be loved in return. And, I loved her with all my heart.

For the past week, she’s been less herself. And this morning, she was very lethargic.  I made an appointment to see the vet and the kind folks at Comite Drive Animal Hospital found an opening for me. Compassionate beyond words, the kind veterinarian and his nurse examined my baby to make the determination that it was best to send her on her journey.

While I am sad that her sweet face and voice will not greet me tomorrow morning or this evening when I return home, I am so very grateful for the wonderful years she spent with me. She never failed to be the shoulder or the listening ear or the movie buddy. She lit up every single corner of our house and her spirit will continue to do so through loving memory.

So thank you, Ebby-Lou! Thank you for being my kitty. Thank you for loving me and letting me be your Mom. I could not be more grateful or happy that you decided to keep me.


Over-the-Counter Rickitage Banned by FDA; As Demand for Richard Armitage Grows, Scientists Ask for Patience, Law Firms Chase Ambulances

In latest news, the over-the-counter form of Richard Armitage, Rickitage, has been banned worldwide by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The FDA cited several accounts of mysterious illnesses not yet disclosed by the pharmaceutical company, but linked to the intake of Rickitage by more than 25% of its users. In a study of those affected, the drug had not only afflicted the user with pink eye, hives, and low credit rating, but had also afflicted the users with what could only be described as a weird sort of cancer. The tumorous growths affected the ear, nose, and throat regions and grew in such a way as to contort the human form and make the person appear a jackass.

With Rickitage recalled and banned around the world and a short supply of Richard Armitage, Scientists are back to the drawing board and are working on a procedure to expedite the manufacturing of the tall, dark, and handsome wonder-drug. They are asking for patience and have released the following public service announcement:

“Tired of not getting the joy you want in your life? Manufacturing of the tall, dark, and handsome wonder-drug, Richard Armitage, is under way and will be released by Christmas. Make the most of your holidays! Ask your doctor about Richard Armitage!”

This press release was followed up by a law office looking to do business with the unfortunate users of Rickitage. They released a public service announcement of their own:

“Are you depressed? Do you have pink-eye? Hives? Low credit rating? Do you look like a jackass? Did you take Rickitage? If you or someone you know took the mood enhancement drug, Rickitage, and developed pink eye, hives, low credit rating, jackass inducing cancerous growths, or untimely death, you may be entitled to a monetary judgment. Studies show that consumers who took Rickitage developed at least one unwelcome side effect. So, contact the law offices of Taddah, Abracadabra, and Presto at 1-800-UOweMe1.

Christmas cannot come fast enough!

1 Comment »